We are Not Our Thoughts
My journey in wellness started in 2011 when I met Holly (now my wife!) After a short couple of years being with her and learning about how she thinks, I had an epiphany that I credit her with: "I am not my thoughts."
From here, I began to unknowingly practice mindfulness in my own way. I started to pay attention to my thoughts. I had never thought before that these things called thoughts were so influential in our lives and that we can influence them. Since then, I have been more and more aware of the thoughts that come and go. Sources say we think up to 60,000 thoughts per day!
I began to have an unwavering fascination for thoughts, where they come from, and how it influences every micro and macro action. Back then I was both a pessimist and optimist and I wanted to shift my thoughts to be more positive. I was also aware of the naiveté that can come with positivity and found a way around this from a book called Mind Gym through a concept called attentive optimism - this idea guides people to be realistically positive, rather than to blindly follow positive thoughts.
The Catalyst
Fast forward to 2015, my father started to become very ill from diseases that started to show in 2008. This had a big impact on my life and forced me to reflect on the concept of death and wellbeing. My father was diagnosed with autoimmune diseases that targeted several organs that doctors said had no cure. He had what is called scleroderma which hardened his fingers into a stiff position, rosacea, which discolored the skin of his face, and a few other problems like irregular heartbeat and arthritis.
Through this, my father never complained. He was very stoic. He held steadfast and as strong as he could up until his last breath. By 2016, my father had been in and out of the intensive care unit in San Francisco many dreadful times. Holly and I actually moved home in 2016 to help take care with my mother, who was his full-time caretaker.
Self-Taught Wellness
I witnessed my father take on these terminal illnesses and slowly deteriorate for years.
Every night I would go to sleep to the sound of a ventilator keeping him alive in the next room. He could barely move or go down the stairs. I felt powerless in being able to help.
This created a deep drive in me to seek knowledge in wellness to make an impact in my own way.
On top of my day job, I started following doctors on the edge of consciousness science like Dr. Joe Dispenza who talk about how thoughts influence your wellbeing, mystics like Sadhguru that share about how we have an innate ability to heal and engineer our wellbeing, and influencers like Dr. Theresa Bullard who talk about the science of chakras and the power of opening your heart.
I studied many science-based wellness material from Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson, PH.D. to The Subtle Body by Cyndi Dale. This gave me a strong foundation for translating what I had started to practice unknowingly in 2011 into terms that could be understood by friends and family.
After I learned enough to know that these alternative practices were real and can make a difference, I began to share learnings with my father on a daily basis - ideas about how positivity can heal and how we should be eating healthier. This was not something that I could change though. He was 69 and very much determined to live how he wanted to. I remember one night coming back from work and he had just got out of the ICU and he insisted that he get fast food right before midnight. I was irate. How could he put that into his body after knowing how fast foods can cause more inflammation? I had been coaching and sharing this information for weeks prior.
Final Moments
On a foggy morning in August 2018, the doctor called our family to say that our father had only a few hours left. My family drove to the hospital in San Francisco from Castro Valley in the East Bay. My mother, 3 brothers, sister and wife Holly surrounded him as he lay hooked up to 3 separate life-extension devices. As a priest came by to read him his Last Rites, he looked awake. I could see him looking up into the ceiling of the hospital as if there were something there. We spent a few moments here just being present with him and knew that there was not much time left. As we were listening to my father's last breaths, my mother felt inclined to say in Tagalog while crying:
"It's okay, you don't have to worry about us. We'll be okay."
Right after that moment, he flatlined and took his last breath, as if he chose to leave at that exact moment after he released his main drive to stay alive - his family.
The 2nd Catalyst
My mother was my father's primary caretaker for the 2 years that he was essentially bedridden. She worked day and night to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for him. She made made sure he was taking his medicine on time. She took the brunt of the pain as he deteriorated over time. For decades, they spent every moment with together and loved each other very much.
A few weeks go by and my family is still sharing memories of our father. As my family wanted to get ahead of any other medical issues, we helped our mother set up a general health checkup:
She was diagnosed with cancer.
Prioritizing Wellness & Beating Cancer
A second wave of deep drive to began to take me over. Just weeks after my father's life ended, my mother could be gone as well. From here, I went into an agreement with my mother to work together with me on the wellness practices that I was sharing with my dad.
On top of what was recommended by her doctors, we began to implement every wellness practice in the book: meditation, mindful walking, drinking alkaline water, and generally staying positive.
My mother was always a worrisome person. If there was something her imagination could conjure to go wrong, she would be worried about it. She was also still obviously sad about my father as well, and she barely went outside.
As I would go to work and commute from the East Bay to Palo Alto, I texted my mom frequently to remind her to not worry about the little things. I reminded her to go outside and go on walks at the park. Together, we learned about the body's innate healing mechanisms and put them into practice.
After getting the cancerous part of her body surgically removed, my mother months pass by and by 2018 and there is no sign of cancer. My hard work has paid off and my mother credits me for helping her shift her mindset to place an emphasis on wellness.
The Birth of MindfulText
From here, I began to practice mindfulness and meditation more heavily to support the mental, nutritional, and emotional wellness of myself and everyone around me.
I had another epiphany: "what you spend your time and energy on influences your wellbeing." The more I spent time worrying or thinking negatively, it just brought more of that into my life. Negativity begets negativity. From here, I am happy to report that taking the positive path has greatly influenced my life and those around me for the better.
The science behind consciousness is just now catching up to what the yogis and meditators knew all along - that the connection of mind and body deserves much more credit than what the medical system currently proposes.
Prioritizing wellness isn't hard, we just have to remember to do it. This is where MindfulText was born. Is it as simple as a mindful text? Signs point to yes.